If you know like I know Winter is the time to layer and boss up
Let's first start with what was learned in 2018, and what we want for our future long term.
I learned that I had not even really begun to create a life I wanted. I had been so spontaneous and fun forever that I hadn't set anything long term in motion. The only long term commitment in my life was Treyton. That was a start though a very big start. I've said before on here that I was ashamed of being a single mom and I held a lot of contempt for myself for finding myself in the situation. This year I became grateful for the opportunity motherhood brought me. I leaned in to my role more. There are woman that I know personally and you probably know also that are feeling their biological clocks tick and are angry or disappointed that they haven't found a significant other they can have a healthy relationship with and eventually procreate with.
I haven't done part 1 but I have been blessed with a child and there are some women who never will be, or that time is far off, longer than they would like. So I was grateful this year instead of resentful. Grateful.
I spent way way too much of this year, deep in my feelings... Drowning in them and that I regret. I could have spent that time creating a life I could love. I say that now but then I thought I lost a chunk of what I needed for a life I could love. What I know now is that I have to have a life of my own for that chunk to survive.
I have four major categories I want to focus on going into 2019 and that's Treyton, Furthering my education, My Health, and Growing my blog.
Once I decided that these are the things o would focus on. I did something different because of this year taught me nothing else. It showed me that I do not handle roadblocks well. What am I going to do if Treyton is having behavior problems and my methods, and consequences are not showing progress? What am I going to do if the ensemble shoot I planned doesn't get the engagement I projected? What if ? How am I going to handle disappointment?
I am not 100% sure but I think my word for the year is going to be brave. You know screw the sad, in my feelings girl. There is nothing to be afraid of. Well there are but you know what I mean. I’m going to stop being afraid of my life and everything that happens to me. I have a plan & I am no longer afraid of all the variables that will affect my plan.
Lots of talk though. Let’s put some concrete down so I’m not so flimsy.
What did you like about this year?
How do you want the year after this one to look?
What is actually in your control?
1. I figured out how to define myself. I want to maintain that clarity
2. Less manic, less sulking, less shame. I'm no longer defining myself by the things that didn't go as planned.
3. My actions. I have purpose and I make sure to work towards that function weekly. I do not have to be idle. Not everything requires tons of cash, some things do, but a lot of things don't.